I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
