worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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