k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
