I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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