Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
