Sry I called you an 8
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
