Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
