xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
