my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
