Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
