do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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