hell yes lets make some ravioli
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
