He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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