i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
PANTIES FOUND
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