"it" just moved
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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