explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The Olympian is in my bed
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
