he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
