My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
