I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
