can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
