my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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