She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize