apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
