Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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