Duck Duck Cougar?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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