Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
What a dumb baby whore.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
