I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Green mimosas i think yes
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
