Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
