It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
