he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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