you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
