What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude i'm inner monologue high
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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