if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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