Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I pour the whiskey from now on
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
