glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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