Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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