so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We talked him into tasing himself.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
