ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
