I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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