We named our party play list daddy issues
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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