I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
