Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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