Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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