I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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