Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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