It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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