Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You're like the curious george of whores
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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