my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
