My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
