Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
